What is Domestic Abuse?

It can happen to any man, no matter what background, age, job, race or sexuality, we are here to give all the support we can.

Any incident or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or are family members, regardless of gender or sexuality. This not only includes physical violence but other types of abuse such as verbal abuse, threatening behaviour, emotional/psychological abuse, financial abuse, sexual abuse, isolation and false allegations.


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Examples of power and control:

Abusers believe they have a right to control their partners:

  • Telling them what to do and expecting obedience
  • Using force to maintain power and control
  • Not accepting responsibility for the abuse
  • Forced marriage

Examples of verbal abuse:

  • Constant yelling and shouting
  • Verbal humiliation either in private or in company
  • Constantly being laughed at and being made fun of
  • Blaming you for their own failures

Examples of Financial Abuse:


  • Totally controlling the family income
  • Not allowing you to spend any money unless ‘permitted’
  • Making you account for every pound you spend
  • Running up huge bills such as credit/store cards in your name
  • Purposely defaulting on payments

Examples of physical abuse include:

  • Being kicked, punched, pinched, slapped, choked and bitten
  • Use or threats of use of ‘weapons’ including knives and irons
  • Being scalded or poisoned
  • Objects being thrown
  • Violence against family members or pets
  • Wilfully stopping fathers from seeing their children by breaching court orders

Examples of threatening behaviour:

  • The threat of violence
  • The threat of use of ‘weapons’ including knives and irons
  • The threat of use of violence against family members or pets
  • Threatening to use extended family members to attack you
  • Destroying personal items
  • Threatening to tell the police that you are the person committing the domestic abuse
  • Threatening to remove your children

Examples of Emotional and Psychological Abuse:

  • Intimidation
  • Withholding affection
  • Turning your children and friends against you
  • Being stopped from seeing friends or relatives
  • Constantly being insulted, including in front of others
  • Repeatedly being belittled
  • Keeping you awake/stopping you sleeping
  • Excessive contact, for example stalking
  • Using social media sites to intimidate you (such as Facebook and Twitter)

Examples of Isolation:

  • Limiting outside involvement such as family, friends and work colleagues
  • Not allowing any activity outside the home that does not include the perpetrator constantly checking up on your whereabouts

Examples of Sexual Abuse:

  • Sexual harassment/pressure
  • Forcing sex after physical assaults
  • Sexually degrading language
  • Rape

Examples of False Allegations:

  • Telling the police that you are the one committing the domestic abuse when it is the other way around
  • Telling friends, families, your employer and others such as sports clubs that you are the one committing the domestic abuse
  • False allegations of another ‘crime’

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Read more about what you can do to stop the abuse

There are a number of things that you can do to help protect yourself and to put a stop to your abuse in a safe and effective way. Everybody is different and what works for some people may be more difficult for others. Call the MSU Helpline now and get the support you need. 0300 303 0167


Call our support helpline.