What you can do


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It's vital you tell the relevant authorities about what is happening to you and keep a diary of the incidents.


Leave the relationship

Your safety, both physically and mentally is of upmost importance. It’s vital that you leave the relationship if you can. Domestic abuse is always about asserting power and control. It’s important to recognise that you are not to blame and that this is happening to you.

If you are a victim of domestic abuse or domestic violence, then the person who is carrying this out does not love you and it is unlikely they will change their behaviour towards you. If you have children and the abuser is the mother, we realise this is more difficult, but by reporting the crime and keeping a diary, this will help if you need to leave the family home, with or without your children.

Keep a diary

  • Keep a diary of incidents, noting down times, dates and witnesses.

  • (Keep documents, diary and phone to hand).

  • Tell a friend and/or family members

  • Keep a photographic record of injuries.

  • Report each incident to your GP or hospital. Make sure they take notes of your injuries

  • Report each incident to the Police (including criminal damage as well as violence)

  Tell others

  • Ensure you speak to a trained domestic violence officer (all police stations have specialist domestic abuse officers or they can tell you where the nearest one is.) Either phone to make an appointment or attend the station in person. Take a friend with you, if possible.

  • Ensure that you obtain a Crime Reference Number. Insist on it.

  • Take advice regarding injunctions from a reliable solicitor.

  • Think about telling your employer about the problems you face. Employers are now far more aware of the problem.

  • Seek help from a local council housing officer, especially if children are involved.

All public authorities including the police, local councils, GP’s and hospitals have to treat you in the same way as they would treat a female victim.

Call the MSU helpline for support

0300 303 0167


Leave a message with our support staff

Contacting the police

Please follow these steps:


For more information and advice on contacting the police, please click here.

The police have to treat you in the same way as they would treat a female victim.

If you retaliate, the police could end up arresting you, rather than the perpetrator, even if she/he is the aggressor.

  • Do not retaliate physically or verbally, if possible.
  • Leave if you can or try to remove yourself to another room/place
  • Report each violent incident to the police even if you do not wish to press charges.
  • Ensure you obtain a Crime Reference Number. Insist on it.
  • Ask to speak to the Trained Domestic Violence Officer.
  • Notice the signs that may trigger an incident, and if so, leave before it happens.


Keep documents, evidence you have collected, diary and phone to hand. There may be a time when you need to leave immediately, ensure you have keys with you or have them stored elsewhere.


It may be safer to keep the diary outside of the home, with a friend, family member or at work. After each new incident ensure it is added to your diary as soon as possible.

Mobile Phone

Keep your mobile phone with you at all times and ensure it is always charged


Keep important documents, such birth certificate, marriage certificate, passport, driving licence, insurance documents etc, in a safe place – friends or family.

Don't Worry!

Talk to a member of the MSU team

Our Helpline is open 24 hours a day and is FREE from UK Landlines

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